But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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