My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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