Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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