Just fell off a train. Bad.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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