This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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