i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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