was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
