I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize