I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
