i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
