How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You should frame my arrest warrant.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
