I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
