no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
