remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i wish my penis had a tongue
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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