Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
