Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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