Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
