Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We don't watch enough power rangers
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
