just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
