dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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