Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
