Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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