yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
