He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
