"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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