Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
