Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
