so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
