I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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