Your tits are I can't wait for
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
