Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
