At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
