Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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