Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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