You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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