Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
