Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
