After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
