No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
