I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
