he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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