ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize