So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
