I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
