I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize