okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
