Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
