He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
