So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
