College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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