Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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