East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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