you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
