how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
