I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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