hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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