My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
